Airbnb hosts: please, no more photos of decorative gourds. Here’s what I want instead.

There’s an entire genre of AirBnB photos that scream, “this person is hiding something, and I need to know what.” They remind me of that terrible date when the conversation abruptly went in the wrong direction and into odd and uncomfortable details and would not stop. So listen up, hosts: here are the photos of your place that I never want to see again — and some tips on things I do.

Please, no more macro photos of your interior design. I do not want to see the beading of your decorative pillows; close up pictures of flowers, however well or poorly arranged; your artwork, paintings, or posters; any inspirational messages of any kind, especially at lake houses like “Cabin Time Starts Now” or “Lake Life: No Wake, Slow Down,” printed in cursive black on a box-framed white canvas. I do not want to see how your fold sheets down from the pillow with a mint and a flower and a sleeping mask and a note that says “sleep tight”; nor multiple angles of bath towels folded like sad skinny blind swans; nor french toast with strawberries.

Please, no photos of local experiences. For the love of all that’s good, please no more sunrises or sunsets. Nor vistas, lakes, mountains, or valleys, unless it’s what I can see while standing directly on your deck. Please, no photos of festivals, the weekday market, lighthouses, or people bustling around a restaurant or a bar or a theater unless your place is directly above it. Please, no more photos of hawks, deers, birds, or other wildlife of any kind, unless it’s a warning that I should take care of where I eat lunch. No more photos of the beach (unless you’re on the beach), the skyline (unless it shows where the apartment is), or people holding hands walking down romantic streets (unless that’s the front of your house).

I would absolutely love to see a wide-angle photo of your building, the entranceway, and photos of your outdoor spaces if any. I’d love a single shot of each bathroom—just one—that shows if there’s a shower or a tub and the shelf space around the sink and how well it is lit. I’d love to see if there’s a workspace. I’d love to see the layout. I’d love to see the bedrooms, their furniture, and the type and size of the beds. And listen: take your photos in the afternoon light, and give your phone lens a wipe on your shirt. I need only 5 shots, 8 max. But no more pumpkins, really, unless you’re giving them away.